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Take a Peek!
Here are three stories from my book for you to preview. Enjoy!
I Get Happy Easy
Listen, Listen, Listen
You Always Have a Choice
I Get Happy Easy
I make my own happiness. Example: Playing golf and not having a good score. When this happens, I give myself permission to tear up the scorecard. It’s a game, and I’m not going to let it beat me down.
I don’t expect other people to make me happy. I start out the day by being happy, and the people I come into contact with add to or embellish my well-being. On the flip side of that, I do not want to be in charge of making others happy. I will add to their happiness and be a part of their happiness, but I’m not responsible for their state of mind.
It’s not always about you. Get yourself out of the way! Forget yourself when you leave the house. If you have to ask somebody, “How do I look in this? Do I look OK? Should I wear this?,” if it’s questionable and you are depending on someone else to be your mirror, then don’t wear it. Don’t be your own question mark. When they tell you how good you look, then they can be your exclamation point!!!
It’s not about you. Unless you truly have bad taste, Sista, it’s most likely that nobody knows better than you what looks best on you. Feel comfortable in your own skin!!!!
Own yourself. Owning yourself gives you the ability to be the best that you can be. It’s a form of elevated self-confidence, and making your own calls. Don’t buy into other people’s thinking. You can listen to their input or opinions, but know yourself well enough to get whether what they are saying has any meaning, purpose, or substance. Have confidence in your own good judgment.
Don’t compare yourself to anyone. You won’t find any satisfaction when you do because, let’s face it, we’re all different. You can’t imagine the happiness inside yourself when you stop comparing yourself to others. You can take joy from what you see in another, but don’t let someone else be your measuring stick. I enjoy the moments I’m in and don’t clutter my mind with having to do better than I do. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to do better. Of course, I want to do better, yet I am pleased with what I’m doing in the moment as it is taking place. Enjoy the show on the TV set you have. Fancier and bigger is not always better.
Most perfectionists, I believe, are highly intelligent people with one-track minds. They can be boring, insensitive, and driven. I am anything but a perfectionist, and people like me will always disappoint perfectionists. I think one of the reasons I enjoy my own company is because I am not a perfectionist. I don’t always have to be fixing something or straightening anything. Get to a point where you like something without it having to be just so. Enjoy the imperfections. Like laugh lines around the eyes, imperfections show true character, and you should be free to be simply who you are.
There’s nothing wrong with being selfish. Be selfish with yourself. It’s not always about pleasing someone else. There is a fine line where you realize your limits. Be honest with yourself and others. Don’t be afraid to say, “Now’s not a good time. I’ve had a hard day or I have to finish something, etc.”
Be honest with yourself and others!
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Listen! Listen! Listen!
Life is so much easier when you listen! You’re not learning anything when you’re the one talking. Try to maintain eye contact, and let that person know that you’re truly listening. Don’t be so quick to listen to just part of the story or scenario so you can get in your opinion. Let the other person tell their story before you tell them yours.
Don’t surround yourself with people who zap your energy. For instance, people who can’t make up their minds, pessimistic people who feel like their cup is half empty, or folks who do things half-assed where you feel you have to do damage control. Don’t waste your energy on situations that cannot be fixed. Use that energy on what can be improved. Don’t steal time from yourself. Turn THAT page again.
Give yourself and others the gift of forgiveness. If you don’t, you’re stuck there, and you can’t move on. No one can tell you to forgive somebody. You have to come to that place yourself. Give it up! You’ll be happier.
“The mind of a sage appreciates a good listener.”
and
“An attentive ear is the joy of the wise.”
Wish I could claim these as my quotes, however, they are paraphrases of quotes from two of our great philosophers.
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You Always Have a Choice
You always have a choice. Don’t forget to have a Plan B. Don’t set yourself up to be disappointed.
Example: I sent my husband-to-be, Jim McConaughey, an invitation to our first wedding. Didn’t know if he accepted or not. While he was away at college getting ready for a bowl game, I lived with his parents who couldn’t quite believe this Yankee girl. They thought I was much too strong-willed and impulsive, so they wanted to get to know me better. I lived with them for a year, but I still dated and spent time with most of Jim’s friends. I wasn’t about to just sit home. Along with his mom and sister I started planning our wedding, and I sent Jim an invitation in October so he had plenty of time to think about it. The wedding was set for December, and I never did hear one way or the other from Jim.
On the day of my wedding, two suitcases were ready—one packed for New York, which is where I was living prior to my extended weekend, and the other for the honeymoon. It’s good to have a Plan B.
When my father refused to come to New Orleans from New Jersey to give me away, that was a problem. Now what?! There wasn’t any one else in my family to do that. My only resource was to ask Jim’s father to give me away.
The morning of the wedding Jim’s dad and I were ready to walk down the aisle.
All this time I amazed myself. I had this self-confidence that even surprised me. There was no point in getting upset. I had to be my own judge, jury, and cheerleader. No hand-wringing allowed. There was no rehearsal dinner, there was no engagement ring, but Jim did show up with a wedding band.
I wasn’t taking any chances. I made it happen. It’s wise to ride in on your own horse, which goes back to having a Plan B. You always have a choice. Don’t let anybody ever take your choices away.
P.S. We spent our honeymoon with a football team.
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